


Day 97

by notjustmom



Series: A Lisp A Day... [97]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, between season 1 and 2, the lisp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:00:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6526711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>more post Pool...going angsty...thinking of how someone would deal with the aftermath of almost being blown up if they had PTSD...haven't been there, but just imagining how John would've reacted in the hours after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 97

"John?" Sherlock walked into the steam filled room, still unsure of his next step. He heard the water spray, and a rough sound underneath. He stepped into the shower and found John curled into himself, his hands covering his face, his body racked with sobs. Sherlock dropped next to him in the tub, and without thinking, covered John's shaking body with his own.

"I'm so sorry...I'm sorry, John, please....I'm so so thhorry..."

"Don't let me go, for God's sake, just hold me, please, Sher-"

Sherlock pulled John against him and held his best friend in his arms, letting the water run over them until it ran cold. He turned off the water, quietly got out of the tub, then helped John step out, wrapped him in a towel, and without a word, picked him up in his arms and carried him to his room. He dried him off, helped him dress in a t shirt and pants and tucked him into his bed. He put on his pajamas and dressing gown and turned to leave.

"Sherlock, I'm sor-" Sherlock stopped, his mouth unable to work properly for a moment, then he sat down next to John on the bed and took his hand.

"Shhh...hear me right now, John. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I shouldn't have let it go this far; he played me, and I wanted to show off. I wanted to be better, smarter, faster than him. In the lab, he saw, I don't know how, but he knew, he knew my weakness. My Achilles' heel has always been you, since the day we met. I have been trying not to want you, or need you in my life; love is like a drug for me, always has been, worse than the heroin or the coke, love is destructive, I lose myself, and I didn't want to lose what we had, I didn't want to lose my friend, my one true friend. No. You may not apologize to me, you are the strongest, bravest man I've ever known, John Watson. Somehow I hope you can forgive me? I'll, uhm, be in the other room, if you need me."

John grabbed his hand as he rose from the bed. "Stay?" he whispered. "Please, stay, even if it's just for tonight? I just need to know you are safe. Can you just hold me so I know...so fucking weak-damn it! Some soldier I am..."

"Stop it." Sherlock pulled off his gown, slid into bed next to John and laid next to him, then slowly brought John to lay against his chest so he could feel Sherlock's heartbeat as he slept. "I love you, John Watson, I'm sorry it took me so long to say it to you. Just know this, if something had happened to you tonight, neither of us would be here right now."

"Tell me..."

"Hmm?"

"Tell me about the day we met..."

"You're the storyteller, John..."

"Tell me, please."

"I was working on some case, don't remember what it was now...Mike brought you in...I pretended my phone didn't work, I knew Mike kept his phone in his coat, I wanted to see what you would do. You offered me your phone...I brushed your hand with my fingers and...hmmm...'Afghanistan or Iraq?' I asked. Your eyes popped, and you stood up straighter as if you had remembered who you were all of a sudden...and I knew from that moment..."

Sherlock felt John relax against him and knew he was asleep. He knew sleep would be impossible, so he spent the rest of the night cataloguing how John slept, how many breaths per minute, how it felt to rest his fingers in his hair, how his mind calmed simply by having John relax against him. He held him through the nightmare that hit, soothed him back to sleep and knew he would do anything to keep the man in his arms safe for as long as he lived.


End file.
